Friday, December 24, 2010

MERRY CHRISTMAS



This year I am celebrating Christmas with mom, dad, my brother David and his family, Mario Anthony, Amber and her family.

Today, I drove Mario Anthony around for his last minute shopping since he is still in a cast on his left arm / hand. I thought about posting a picture of the pins and stitches - but it looks really ugly - it looks like a shark bite!

Tiffaney and her family are in Utah celebrating Christmas with Justin's family. I miss our Meia and little Cason. Getting them to the airport was quite the experience as Meia could not find her Nintendo DS - she sobbed saying we are supposed to be leaving to go to the airport and I can't find it - (of course her Christmas gifts are games that she can play on the hand held system). So we all searched the house while considering a quick trip to the store to buy another! Thank God - Justin found it!


Oliver is working (Southwest Ambulance - transporting). Angela and kids are celebrating with her family. On Sunday, Oliver, Angela, and I will continue to look for a home in Augusta Ranch so Lissy can continue to attend the same school.

I feel blessed to belong to my family!
May your Christmas be filled with fun, joy, and peace.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Discouraged

Unpleasant and unplanned things continue to happen - Usually this conversation is about my health BUT not today. I am trying to follow my budget ... and SNAPFU the unexpected happens requiring another revision. Some of the SNFU's are small but $100 here and another there add up quickly. This series of unexpected things - uggh - (UNITED HEALTHCARE personnel) stressed me out today.

I need to relax and return to my pleasant self - so I'm going to Amber's for birthday cake... yummmm AND maybe the Suns game! - oops - another $15 for parking... maybe not - hmmm - I will get back to you on that one.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Learning to Live Within the Parameters I Have Been Given




My reality is knowing my limits and appreciating my resources - including my family and friends. Over the past 8 months I have had some amazing faith building experiences. This morning the scripture, ‘I can do all things in Christ’ comes to my mind. Yes, I have managed to accomplish many things over the past 8 months while experiencing health problems and lacking the benefits of working (pay checks).

I am profoundly aware that my ability to be who I am and do the things I have done is not only because of My Creator but because of my family and friends who encourage and assist me. Because of you, the past 8 months of my life have been very fulfilling.





Thank you for making the following experiences possible:

* Staying in San Francisco for Emma’s birth for a total of 5 weeks.
* Going to Kentucky to support Cassie and Marty in their sobriety.
* Purchasing and moving into a lovely condo that is in a great location.
* Taking a mini vacation after my move,
* A day at the beach with Payton, Emma, Amber and Nick’s family.
* Living in the cooler temperatures of Southern California during August.

*
*

A very Big THANK YOU to my
mother, Barbara Swartwout.
Her encouragement and assistance have exceeded my expectations. I am so very lucky to have my mom
!


* * * * * *

Another really Big Thank You to Tiffaney and Justin for taking care of my dog, Sierra during all the different times I was not home or not able to get out and walk her!




I am very appreciative of all my family and friends who have blessed me!

A special thank you to Mario Anthony, Amber, Nick, Cassie, Oliver and Angela; my friends Lee, Mark and Mary; my father Bill Karstadt and Ken Swartwout; my cousins Laura, Ben and Katrina; my nephew Christian and niece Alicia.
*

I Know that you all made a positive difference in my life!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Fillipe

Look around - Our Father, God has provided so many resources for us. Some come in the most unexpected manner. My story has a familiar sequence similar to the Best Christmas gift I received as a young child.

When I was 10 years old on Christmas morning I woke up to find a rather large brown card board box (the kind used for refrigerators) next to the tree. On top was written, Merry Christmas Susan. It didn't look appealing but I was very curious so I opened the box to find towels and rags. Well - What was Santa trying to tell me? This was my Bag of Coal!

As Christmas morning progressed, my family sat together opening all kinds of wonderful gifts. If I remember correctly, David received his request for a unicycle and Ted received his 10-speed bike - I had a card board box with rags. To make matters worse, Dad announced that we had to put our dogs, Peanuts and Snoopy, outside in the cold. You can guess what I said if you weren't there...

Similarly, one week ago I was on my way to pick up Sierra who was at Tiffaney and Justin's when I passed Fillipe, a man who held a sign, "Need Work." Tiffaney had kept Sierra since I cleaned up the patio and it was impossible for me to walk her in the 100 degree temperatures. As I drove on toward Tiffaney's home I kept thinking about the man with the sign. I prayed for wisdom and felt comfortable - if the man was still on the corner I should stop and talk to him.

Well, he was still there on the street trying to capture the smallest bit of shade. He told me that he would do any work. In the past he had worked cleaning and bussing tables. I asked if he was interested in helping me complete a move... Over the next 3 nights, Phillip slept on the floor all alone in our old apartment. I began to learn a lot about him as we traveled together while moving boxes from the apartment to the condo.

Phillip had been on the street for the past 3 days and boldly stated that sleeping on the floor was much better than rocks. It was apparent as he spoke with me that he had a developmental disability. His 60-year-old father, who he had most recently lived with was described as an angry man who yelled a lot, one of the dogs barked a lot, and he was uncomfortable with his dad's girlfriend. His Dad pushed out the front door with no keys, no clothes, and no ID. He did not want to go back -

Phillip was raised by his grandmother who passed away in 1996, he lived with aunts and cousins, and then found room and board while working for a restaurant since 2006. He had excellent memory of dates but communicated in a child-like fashion. Based upon his information, I was able to determine that Phillip is in his 40's. Phillip required some guidance and restating of specific details. He worked well with Mario, my son. Together we moved and Phillip worked without complaint.

Phillip, similar to my Christmas gift, was no Bag of Coal. He was cooperative and extremely helpful. I could not say 'thank you' enough. He really blessed my life similar to my Christmas gift - a small homeless kitten.

I do not advocate for picking up strangers from the street. I would not have considered doing so without my ferocious dog Sierra and having inner peace. God brought Fillipe into my life and I am a better person in a better curcumstance because of him. I hope he can say the same of me.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

This Grandma is Exhausted

Enjoy the cake - love Suzi

Good news!

Yesterday, we experienced an awesome answer to prayer - Emma had her cast taken off and didn't need another ! She has the cutest little shoes to wear.

Today, at Emma's debut we raised nearly $500 to cover medical bills currently at $5,000. Thank you for helping with your financial gifts!

Please continue to stand with us in prayer. I'm asking for normal spine and brain functioning, the ability to hear her sing praises to God, and see her children!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

God is AND Emma is My Gift of Faith

A while back, I left Amber's home rather exhausted. It was a warm day and I felt the spasticity in my neck, throat, and shoulders. I spent some time caring for Emma and Payton while Nick and Lexi worked in their back yard.

As I watched little Emma, I noticed that she was having difficulty sleeping for more than a few minutes at a time. It was as if she was jolted out of her sleep - startled. I'm pretty sure we have all had this experience at one time or another. You know the kind - when falling asleep and your entire body jumps and wakes you up. But usually this only happens once or twice - right? Well poor Emma - every time she fell asleep - about 4 or 5 minutes - she would startle and then start crying. I held her and prayed. I placed her in the stroller and prayed. I researched Chiari, hydrocephalus and sleep apnea on line. I discovered that the combination is common among most babies with Chiari II.

I went home rather exhausted. Most of you know I can sleep a lot - 12 to 14 hours a day - but for some reason I was not able to fall asleep. As I laid in bed I began to pray for baby Emma. I prayed for her healing. I prayed for her left leg that was in a full leg cast. I prayed for the formation and function of her brain to be as perfect as His original design. My prayers seemed to be words and thoughts without effectiveness.

THEN the most amazing thing happened. In my discomfort and limitations, I prayed for healing of my brain, neck, and spine. As I prayed for myself, I felt relief from my symptoms. This caused me to think that there must be a spiritual connection among all we experience and with those we live among.

I do not understand but can tell you that God is and hears our prayers. PLEASE continue to pray with me for healing and personal growth to become everything God designed us to be during our life.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

On the way to visit Cassie


Friday evening I was on a flight to Charlotte, NC when I passed out. The combination of warm temperatures along with a few hot-flashes were more than I could handle.

I had dressed warm with layers of clothing. I did not take the ice vest. Never, ever did it occur to me that the temperature in the cabin of the plane might be a problem for me.

About an hour into the flight, I started feeling uncomfortably warm. Then I had a couple of hot flashes and started sweating. I turned the cabin air on full blast BUT it was warm air. I started to feel awful so I got up and asked to use the restroom in the front of the plane...

NO WAY - the front of the plane is for 1st class!

The walk to the back of the plane seemed impossible BUT I did not feel well so I turned to walk to the back of the plane. Moments later things became a blur - I could not understand what a man was saying and I could not coordinate or focus my eyes. I was down for the count!


YUP - right there on the plane, I collapsed. Finally, I could stretch out and be comfortable in the over-crowded plane. The next thing I hear :


"Is there a medic on board?"

"Maam, are you traveling with someone?"

"Do you have chest pain?"


"Nooo - I'm too hot" was my reply.

I was thinking - I want to stay on the floor - it's much more comfortable than my seat. And I'm glad my kids aren't with me - how embarrassing.

With a moist cool towel, a bag of ice water on my neck, and some orange juice - I began to feel better. Darn if they didn't make me return to my seat.

Then about a half hour later, I remembered I was wearing my glasses. I called the stewardess, she looked and found them under a seat. They looked as though they had been walked on and will need a major adjustment before they fit on my face correctly - I didn't get to the restroom until I was off the plane in Charlotte.

DO YOU THINK THE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED UP and possibly had an someone go with me as I changed flights in Charlotte? THEY didn't and IT DID NOT OCCUR TO ME TO ASK... Fortunately, I made it to my next flight, which was much more comfortable (less crowded and cooler temps).

Tomorrow, I have to fly USAir to get home. I hope and pray that my flight will be more comfortable. At the very least, I promise you that I will speak up when I don't feel well - and I WILL ask for assistance!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Remember - nothing ever stays the same


I remained strong, adjusted to the changes in my health and was able to support my daughter with the birth of Emma. Developing pneumonia, which exacerbated the Multiple Sclerosis the month prior to going to San Francisco was not good. My daughter remained positive and was glad to have my company even though I slept a lot and we had some problems with my scooter - for mobility - while in SF. God blessed us in so many ways and answered so many prayers.

Through this experience I have learned how truly amazing my friends and family are. Thank you for your kind words, encouragement, and support. Emma's life and health is an answer to many of your prayers. I am so blessed to have these experiences. I feel that she belongs to all of us. Thank you again for your prayers and support.

I am doing better too - walking more and sleeping less. Today, I met with Shari and Karen at Kyrene District Office to discuss work. I am hoping to pick up a couple of evaluations prior to the end of the school year - about 8 hours each week. I feel better just thinking about the possibilities. Also, today I met with a mortgage officer about obtaining a loan for a condo in Scottsdale. With the additional hours - I should qualify.

Things are looking up!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

We are home!

Finally, after 34 days in San Franscico we are back in Phoenix. We will let you know when you can see Emma. Her appointment with her pediatrician is this Monday.

I have my follow-up appointment with my neurologist on the 8th. I continue to have significant problems with fatigue, sleeping 10 to 12 hours every day and on ocassion I have slept 16 hours.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

About Emma's Shunt

This is part of the shunt that controls the flow of CSF from the
ventricles into her abdominal area. This is placed under her scalp on the right side of her head.

RECOVERY


Miss Emma is in style and well on her way to recovery!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Surgery tomorrow morning

Most of you are aware that Emma is scheduled for surgery this Thursday or Friday at 7:30.

Each day seems to be full of various adventures especially traveling back and forth to the hospital. Today, I made at least 4 trips and had more difficulties. If my scooter didn't stop dead in the middle of the road on the train tracks with the MUNI train coming my direction, I was dropping my cane on the tracks, or my purse in the street, and on one occasion I was not able to get OFF the MUNI train (while I desperately tried to get the chair to go while everyone watched, waited, and asked if my battery died) - No must have been just me... par for today. For some reason I could not get my GO GO scooter to go until after I had turned it off and back on 3 times! After these frustrating and challenging experiences - I went back to the Family House and took a nice long nap.

Amber is exhausted too. We are both back at the Family House and grateful to have a room, bed, and shower. Even though we share with other families, we are finding that this preferred over the hospital chair-bed and no shower.

Please continue to pray for Emma.

Monday, February 15, 2010

All of our days in the past have brought us to today


Emma is 4 days old and recovering from her back surgery. So far, Emma has proven to be very proficient when it comes to nursing.

Amber is doing well. She was released from the hospital but is allowed to stay so she can nurse Emma every 2 - 3 hours.

Emma is being cared for in the Intensive Care Unit. She is going to be scheduled for another surgery this week. She will receive a shunt to reduce the fluid that is building up in her spine and on her brain. She no longer has bowel and bladder control. We hope and pray that when the swelling has gone, she will regain control.

At times my emotions are overwhelming and experiences are beyond any I have ever had. She is so beautiful and tiny. I love little Emma Lou Rose!

Friday, February 12, 2010

One day at a time - 3 weeks in SF and counting


We have been in San Francisco 22 days. I am beginning to feel like this is a second home.

Emma was in surgery this morning for 3 hours. The surgeon said that everything went well. The spinal opening is now closed. We hope we will be able to hold her in two to three days. The surgeon told us that her ventricles in her brain are enlarged and we have been told that we need to watch and wait to determine if she will need a shunt. Tentatively she is scheduled to have surgery sometime next week if she needs the shunt.


Amber (Lexi) is recovering from the C-section and should be able to leave UCSF hospital in a day or two. I suspect we will be in San Francisco for another 2 weeks.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Baby Emma Is Here

Emma is here.

She weighs 7 lbs. 9 ounces.

Amber (Lexi) is doing well.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Baby Emma


Plans have changed. We spent most of our day at UCSF. Emma was not ready to be taken by C-section. The new plan is to deliver Emma this Thursday at 10:00.

Sunday, February 7, 2010


The past month has been One Day at a time. We have been able to stay busy most days. This is a picture taken in China Town. I am thankful for the time I have been able to spend with Lexi. I am exhausted. Tomorrow I pray we will have little Emma and soon we will be headed home.

Saturday, February 6, 2010


Last weekend we had beautiful sunny days in San Francisco.
We were not able to access the internet for the last two days. We are not sure why but today we have access. There is not much to report. We are still waiting for Emma. I finished Emma’s baby blanket but still working on Payton’s blanket.

Last week, we had several appointments and made two trips to Labor and Delivery, which have been helpful. I know where we need to go, which is the 15th floor of the hospital. Amber’s contractions are stronger every day. She looks ready to give birth. Monday is the birth day as long as Emma’s lungs are developed. Emma should be delivered via c-section sometime in the afternoon.

The Family House is completely full with approximately 22 families. We do not have cable access to TV in our room but we do have a TV that plays videos so we have been watching a lot of videos. This afternoon we are watching the Wizard of OZ and the Titanic. Nick and his parents are flying to SF (here) tomorrow - so we all will be able to watch the Superbowl game with them at the hotel!

Monday, February 1, 2010

SF - The Good, the Bad and Ugly

The Good News is that we are here is SF. The Family House and UCSF Fetal Treatment Center are amazing. The Family House is somewhat like the Ronald McDonald House. We are staying in a home that has 4 floors, three of the floors house up to 8 families who have a child receiving treatment at the children's hospital. Each floor has a community kitchen, shared living room and shared bathrooms. One family told us how they lived at the hospital and out of their car for 3 weeks because both homes were full. We are lucky to be here. Baby Emma is our child that entitles us to stay in this home. Often we are asked if we have a sick child in the hospital. Many of the children are being treated for cancer. Some are like us who are receiving services due to their baby having special needs. The UCSF Fetal Treatment Center treats all kinds of birth defects. We have heard wonderful stories about the staff and children's hospital. If you are interested they have a web page.

http://fetus.ucsfmedicalcenter.org/our_team/fetal_firsts.asp

While we wait for Emma, Lexi (Amber) and I are trying to keep busy and that means going places on public transportation. So far we have acquired a new vocabulary and learned where NOT to go. We have ridden the city bus, the MUNI (train like bus), the BART (underground subway), and CalTrain. Nick flew in for the weekend, which was a great emotional boost since we both miss our family and friends. Saturday and yesterday, we rode the BART to the SF airport with Nick.

The BAD - There are five major public transportation stations in downtown SF and a major station at the airport - none of these stations have public bathrooms. Among all five underground stations in downtown - only 1 has a working elevator! We have been separated twice and we have been stuck underground - no way out (except to get back on the MUNI or BART)! And no restroom. Needless to say - I have had some very stressful and awkward experiences.

The UGLY - yesterday we were separated after missing a stop on the BART when headed back into town from the airport, about a 20 minute ride turned into an hour trip. We missed the only stop that had a working elevator, which is the last stop before going under the BAY. We ended up in Oakland.

After arriving in Oakland, we decided to get off the BART and return to SF.

Oh - another BAD about the public transportation - the doors open and close extremely quick - As you can Imagine - I in my scooter with cane in hand and Lexi being very pregnant - Only one of us made it off the BART - me! The doors shut in front of Lexi and away went the BART with Lexi in it and me sitting on the platform.

I was underground in downtown Oakland all by myself.

Everyone who got off the BART with me - disappeared in seconds. In order to catch the BART back to SF, I had to go down another level... I was all alone as I looked everywhere for an elevator and prayed that Lexi and Emma would be safe and that she would be able to meet up with me on the next BART going back into SF.

A GOOD thing is that there are WHITE phones at BART stations so I was able to get directions to the nearest elevator. Down a level, I continued to pray that I would be able to join Lexi. As I waited for the next BART headed into SF, I noticed several people had joined me and I was no longer all alone. The BART arrived. I quickly scanned the platform for Lexi when I heard her shout, "MOM!"

What a relief - we were together and getting back on the BART headed to SF.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

UCSF

We spent yesterday at UCSF. Am is doing as well as can be expected. Two more weeks to go and Am is continuing to have contractions. Nights are most difficult and uncomfortable for her.

We are adjusting to our new environment. We have a really nice grocery store - just a couple of blocks away. We have learned that the city bus is accessible and I can take my scooter anywhere the bus goes - just $2 - sometimes only 75 cents.

Nick is flying to SF this Saturday - Yeah - It will be nice to have him here.
However, he is flying back home the next day :-(

I am trying to talk Am and Nick into bringing Payton (he has a ticket) - a little selfish on my part bc he makes me smile! I think Payton would have lots of fun. There are toys and games - wagons to ride in and beautiful parks to play in...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

January 23 - We move forward and pray for comfort, compassion, and health

I am feeling isolated from family and friends but I am making the best of our circumstances. Our new home for the next few weeks is a single bedroom with two twin beds. We share a kitchen and bathroom with other families receiving medical care at UCSF. The volunteers and staff at the Family House are helpful and very kind but it is hard to be so far away from our loved ones and in an unfamiliar place. Accessible transportation has been hard to find - but we are learning where not to go - no elevator service was a problem when we were dropped off at an underground train station. Amber has had the best attitude and it has been a pleasure to spend time with her. However, I think we both feel that February 7 and 8 can not come soon enough. Nick and his parents will be here with us and we are counting on having our baby Emma.

Friday, January 15, 2010

January 15, 2009

Yesterday - I was in a lot of pain. I guess I did too much the day before. Today was better. I stayed in bed until noon. I took Amber to the doctor because she wasn't feeling well. Everything is fine - just some pre-labor contractions. Two weeks from this Saturday - we fly to San Francisco. I am so excited to see Emma and finally hold her.

Today, I took care of myself by resting and taking my vitamins and Omega-3. Also, I scheduled an appointment for bio-identical hormone replacement therapy before we leave.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

January 13, 2009

In 2 weeks, I need to be stronger and healthier to support my daughter. daddysprincessemma.blogspot.com

Today, I made my day count by relaxing, getting some fresh air and sunshine. I was able to walk from my door to my car, to the pool, and leasing office.

I read about the earthquake in Haiti and was thankful I had some money to help provide water. http://community.ob.org/site/PageServer